Ch 16: Encouraging Hearts - Moving People from Discouragement to Hope

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Transcript

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Hello, and welcome to the market. Your message show. I'm your host, Jonathan Milligan and author of the book. Your message matters. How to rise above the noise. And get paid for what, and we are continuing this book club series through my latest book. Your message matters. Even falling along. We are all the way up to the last couple of chapters we're going to cover apart for today and get into chapter 16. I hope you've enjoyed this audio course a little bit behind the scenes. How to apply the book to your business and your life. And I hope you are enjoying this. Look, reach out to me. Let me know if you like something like this. I may do this for future books that are coming out really soon. So let me know. But if you don't have a copy of the book, your message matters. You can get a free copy. You can actually go to your message matters. book.com. Again, that's your message matters book. Dot com and get a free copy. We will send it out to you. All you have to do is pay 4 95 for shipping. And we'll send it out to ya. All right, so let's get to it. So part four is one of my favorite sections of the book and here's why. Because it's really about you. The messenger. Your character, your values, your integrity in how you show up for people. It's about living your message and how can you do this over a long period of time? So that's what we're in this for, right? We're not just in this to make a quick dollar to make a quick buck. We are in this. To build a tribe to build a mission, to be a part of a community. Where you get to be a part of their story longterm. And that's what this is all about. It's about finding a group of people that you want to help and doing life with them. And helping them in their journey. So with live your message. We're going to be talking over the next couple of chapters, about three things. The hearts. Head and hands. Hopefully that's easy to remember. But we're going to be talking about hearts, head and hands one chapter each and today we're going to start in chapter 16, encouraging hearts, moving people from discouragement. To hope. So this is on page 2 25. And we're going to talk about the power of building a community. That makes your products, your services, your membership sticky. It makes people want to stay around because you have created this supportive community. So I love this story. So I'm just going to read the story. That's kicks off. Page 2 25. The Lord of the rings and the Hobbit. Are some of the most beloved books ever written. But they almost didn't happen. Most of us, can't imagine a world without middle earth Bilbo, Baggins, and Frodo's quest to destroy the ring. But what if. But this is the thing. This is really cool. When I discovered this in the story, I thought this was so awesome. But if it was not for the encouragement of CS Lewis, J R Tolkien. Would never have written. Lord of the rings or the Hobbit. Here's the story in 1926. Year after token and began teaching at Oxford university. He met CS Lewis, by the way, if CS Lewis. CS Lewis was many people know him as the author. Of the Chronicles of Narnia. So maybe you never made that connection that the person who wrote the Lord of the rings and the Hobbit became really good friends with the person who wrote all the Chronicles of Narnia. They're actually in a mastermind together community, but let's keep going. So in 1926, a year after token began teaching at Oxford university, he met CS Lewis at a faculty meeting. Four years later, they formed a small writing group known as the inklings. The group met on Monday mornings to share poetry with one another. Eventually the group expanded to 19 individuals and covered all forms of writing. The meeting's moved from Monday mornings to Thursday nights. Louis was known to produce a pot of very strong tea as the men settled in and lit their pipes. And here's a quote from Lewis. Who has something to read us? Louis would say to get things started. And somebody always did. On, they would go late into the night, reading aloud, their stories, offering advice and encouragement to one another. By the way timeout. Can you imagine. Sitting there and hearing. Jr. Togan read the next chapter that I just wrote about the Hobbit. Or hearing CS Lewis say, Hey, here's part of my story and the Chronicles of Narnia. How cool would it been to be a part of that group? But after Lewis his death in 1963. Token wrote a heartwarming note. To the token society of America. And this is what he said, quote. The unpayable debt that I owe to Lewis was not influence. As it's ordinarily understood, but sheer encouragement. He was for long, my only audience. Only from him. Did I ever get the idea that my stuff could be more than a private hobby? But for his interest. And increasing eagerness for more. I should have never have brought the Lord of the rings to a conclusion. Of the inklings Lewis said what I owed them all is incalculable. Is any pleasure on earth as great as a circle of Christian friends by a good fire. And the point that I want to make with this story is that encouragement. Grows in community. Discouragement grows in isolation. And so one of the things you need to know is the audience you're reaching. They're individuals. And they're often feel isolated. And if they're trying to accomplish some big goal, that's related to the niche that you serve, they feel powerless. They feel alone. And you have the opportunity. To be the person that brings these people together. It's not about you being the leader, as much as you providing the opportunity for community. So later on, down in page 2 26. I talk about. The people need hope before they need a solution. Hope offers power in the present moment. John Maxwell says where there is no hope in the future. There is no power in the present in that. So true. So before you sell, encourage the heart through hope. When you connect with. With your with your idle audience's heart, first people will follow you anywhere. And part of it is not just learning how to be a good sales person. That's not what this is about. What it's about is really providing that hope. So I'm going to get real specific here because you might be wondering How do I do that? Over on page 2 27 to talk about something called the feel felt, found principle to offering hope. Now I first heard of this principle. At a sales training conference way back in 2003. And although it was interesting and easy to remember formula. I don't want us to think about it as just a mechanism to sell something. I want you to think about it as a mechanism to really connect with your audience. So there's the feel. I felt found. An easy way to express this is. I know how you feel. I've felt the same way. But here's what I found. And isn't that true? Isn't that for most of us may, maybe not. All of us, but. For you. It really may come down to that. The message that you have is something maybe you overcome in your life or it's something that, that you figured out along the way. Maybe the people you want to serve are a younger version of yourself. And the way that we identify and we connect on a deep level. Is the feel felt found. I know how you feel. I've felt the same way. And here's what I found. Now here's the way that I like to express this. Let's break it down into three parts and it's in your book. Number one. You're not alone. In other words, we offer community. See discouragement thrives in isolation. But hope thrives in community. Real community. Helps people to connect. Together and feel like they're not alone. It reaches out a hand and it says it's okay. You're not alone. And so that's the feel part of this principle is offer some type of community in your business. Now, community could be as simple as a Facebook group. Community can be. Hanging out on a zoom call once a month. Community can be in your paid memberships. There's a lots of ways we can do community, but I think adding that element of community is so important. Number two. I've failed to now, what this is you being willing to be vulnerable and admit your failures. Admit when things didn't go. Admit when you got it wrong. I admit to your failures, oftentimes many gurus only talk about their successes because they think. If I talk about my failures, then people will lose respect for me, or they'll think I'm not really that much of an expert. That's not true at all. The failures make us. A more attractive character. It makes us more relatable. Think about this and I'll give you this illustration on page 2 29. You ever thought about this? What makes a superhero likable? Is it really their superpowers. Is it Spiderman his ability to scale the Heights of Manhattan. Is it iron man, super genius. Intellect. Or maybe you think it's captain America's Raul courage. Superheroes powers are indeed impressive. But I believe. That would make superheroes. Likable is not their strength. But their vulnerability. We like Superman.'cause he like us struggles with doubt and a little bit of immaturity at times. We like iron man, because he too struggles with sometimes letting ego get in the way. We like captain America, because this kindness causes them to be taken advantage of at times. And this is the point your failures. Make you more relatable than your successes? I do so be willing to make yourself vulnerable and share when you failed. All right. Number three. If we want to share successes, we do want to share successes, but we want to do it in a way. That. The easiest way to explain it as the way I explain it on page two 30, these three words, change is possible. The audience you want to reach needs to believe that change is possible. And that's so important. That they. Believe that can happen. They may have failed a hundred times. But what you tell them is, Hey, listen, it's not your fault. Maybe you were taught the wrong way. Maybe you didn't know the solution that I'm going to share you with you. That's going to change everything. But you have to help them believe that change is possible. So think about these three things. Again, you're not alone. I failed to and change as possible. I have used these over and over again. Not as a way to trick people into my communities, products and services. But the real key here is to actually care. That you do care that someone feels alone, that you do care. If someone has failed. And that you do care. If someone feels hopeless. And when you really do care, it makes us process. Easier. And so that's what I want you to get out of this chapter. About. Helping you really connect with the heart. And we start with the heart because I believe if you can get somebody's heart, they'll go with you anywhere. And if you can get their heart. If they feel like you truly care, if you can help them. Move from discouragement to hope. Then they're open to the possibility of you teaching them. And helping them know the right way to do something. All right. So that's it for chapter 16. We're going to be talking about in the next chapter, educating heads. How do we move people from doubt? To confidence. That's a big one, right? We want to help people actually get results. And we're going to help them do that by way. Of moving from doubt to confidence. Again, if you don't have a copy of the book, you can still get a free copy. As long as we have copies available, we'll send you out a free physical copy of the book. 257 pages. And all you have to do is go to your message matters. book.com. Again, that's your message matters. book.com and get your free copy today. That's it for this episode. Let me know what you'd like for me to cover on future episodes and also take a moment and like share, subscribe, or even review our show. And until next time, never forget. Your message matters.